The sacred gift of worthiness

When we get to a point in our Life when we feel we had enough, most of us decide it’s time for a change. Some of us are just not happy with the discomfort of change, so they do think about changing some stuff in their Life, but it actually does not go beyond their thoughts. It just is a fleeting thought that might come and go. But because we have been accustomed to feeling the way we feel, we believe it’s the only option for us. When it comes to change, the only metrics to use is honesty. Honesty with ourselves, with God/The Universe. When we are being honest, things change if we place our intention on it.

What is misunderstood in the world of becoming our greater self -and it’s a paradox-, is that we actually don’t need to change. We are good as we are. Period.

Then what’s up with this "becoming a better person” narrative?

You see, once we start growing, the little voice in our mind creeps in. I workout every day, I am better than my fat colleague. I eat plant-based, of course I’m doing the right thing, compared to my friend over there. I drive an electric car, not like most peasants in my hood, PLEASE! This supposed boost creates confidence as a side effect, which is only perceived as a cloth on our ego.

The only satisfaction that we feel when we encounter this voice is shallow, superficial. It does not last, and it always wants more. To impress, to show off, to be seen.

It’s not really about not being good enough, or on the opposite, being bad. It’s about what we want, it’s about what we desire for ourselves. We will not be a better person if we reach our goal of losing weight, or if we stop indulging in emotional blackmail with a loved one, or if we eat a salad instead of a steak. We will not be a better person if we show the world that we are able to get our shit right, or that we earn this much.

It’s all about the possibilities of creation. Of living a Life filled with experiences, Love, unity and alignment with ourselves.

People around us actually do not matter. Hold your horses before you start smashing virtual tomatoes on my comments section! By this, I mean that we’ve always looked in other people’s eyes to get validated, to get stamped with approval. Once they approve of us, we can finally walk with confidence in our best outfit and serve ourselves a glass of champagne. Until the next deceitfulness shows up.

And where are we at, in this pattern? Who are we? Have we checked in with ourselves, while displaying all these forms of healthy habits and behaviours, instead of creating an Instagram story to show the whole world how awesome and lovable we are? Or do we feel miserable, because we feel deep down that “this” guy or girl is not who we want to be?

Chasing our worth through others’ validation is another trap from the ego (check my previous article here). And chasing our worth once we’ve started to develop ourselves spiritually is another form of it.

Where does that lead us? It’s all about control. The control we feel when we believe we behave like we are supposed to. The belief we have that this is the right thing to do. It’s black or white. No grey area. Behaving as such is an illusion that we are in control, then we are worthy. By entertaining this behaviour, it’s like we were energetically screaming to the whole world:

“Hey, look at me! I’m a good person! I’m doing awesome things. Now validate me!”

Because that’s the only way we found to cope with the harsh reality, that

1.We can screw up

2.Not everyone will like us

3.We are not this perfect human being we’ve spent our lifetime pretending we were

4.We are responsible for our Life and no one else is

5.We don’t owe anything to anyone.

It’s all about being vulnerable with oneself and show up for us the best we can. No pretending, no bullshitting, just honesty and authenticity.

Becoming better for the sake of showing it off to others, is a big hurdle that many people do not realize they’ve been entangled in for many years.

I believe reality offers a paradox to everything in Life. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Too much of this, not enough of that. What we must be aware of is, how does that balance work out in our Life? Putting all our eggs in the basket of others, giving them the chance to approve of us, isn’t it too much to ask? And what would be the real reason behind that? Because we believe others have the power to make us feel a certain way. Because we believe that the power is out there, not within us. Because we are too afraid to feel our stuff, and we give others the opportunity to “control” that. It usually comes from familiar patterns that we have never healed.

When we face this truth, we confront ourselves to an ugly part that lies in the darkest areas of our Being. Despite that, we must have self-compassion, this pattern being one that we’ve played and played thousand times again. It’s engrained in every single cell of our body and our subconscious mind.

One of the worst things we can do for ourselves is to give this power to others. We do not need people to feel worthy. We are worthy, because we exist. We exist, we happen, for a reason. That’s all. Under the many layers of conditioning we’ve been accustomed to, lies the truth of our nature: an infinite, powerful soul whose only desire is to experience Life.

This is why it’s important to let go of this option of looking for ourselves in others. It’s a waste of time, energy, and it will derail us from our true core, our true nature.

What usually happens when we stop caring about others opinion, is that we feel lost at first. We feel that we do not have any direction, we’re on our own, sailing the ship of our Life.

Well, the reality is, we’ve always been on our own, but we were just not seeing it. As simple as that.

Then, the more we practice letting go of others’ opinion or validation, the more we feel free, unattached to whatever they might say or do, because we’ve been surfing on the wave of our own set of values and beliefs that serve us in the Life we want to experience.

Rejection is a necessary part of the process, and I’ll talk more about it in another article.

The more we embody the pattern of letting go of what others think, the freer we will feel, and be in our power. The more we embody that energy within us, the more we open the gates of letting The Universe guide us towards what and who is really, deeply meant for us.

It will bring a Life aligned with Truth, our Truth, and the Truth The Universe has in store for us. It will align us with joy and the sacred energy of God.

What matters is us, how we wanna show up in the world according to our values and passions, and what experiences we wish for ourselves in this lifetime. Giving ourselves the gift of worthiness that we’ve longed for our entire Life.

With love and gratitude,

Caroline

© Caroline Caanl 2025. All rights reserved.