Where is your loyalty?
Howdy! I wanted to write about a topic that feels very touchy for most people. It’s about the dark parts in ourselves that we do not acknowledge.
It happens to all of us. The thing is, when we decide to become a better person, and get to the point of creating a meaningful Life, we do see, while doing the work, patterns that emerge from ourselves. We start noticing our triggers, our behaviours, the relationships we entertain and the relationships we don’t entertain (they matter equally, more on it in a future blog post).
We do the work, and we fix some issues. We start to create healthy habits, we start getting into the momentum of a more pleasant Life. What we get from our efforts is so much better than what we used to live in, or experience, that we think we are out of the woods. After having sustained a certain period of time on this high, we get back to our routine, and we stop moving. Of course, we’ve ran a long way from where we were to get home. But this now is far from what our soul deeply desires, and far from the marvellous potential that human beings have inside of themselves. We get satisfied with a bit of discomfort, and a bit more comfort. We eat healthier, and we still go to Maccas on the weekend. We experience better friendships, and we still hold onto this toxic situationship.
Most people unfortunately stop there. Their way of getting content and satisfied with “a little bit more than others” is a trap. Because “a little bit more” is a statement that is not favorable to “all the way in”. What “all the way in” means? It means erasing everything that does not lift us up on our highest high, and for that to happen, we have to make conscious choices and decisions that will alter the rest of our Life, on the short and long term. It means cutting out all toxicity, all behaviors that would reminisce us that there is an alternative to the greatest version of ourselves.
We knit at every second the tapestry of our future self. Every decision we make is either going for, or against, our greatest self. When we listen to our mind that says we should stop there, or we should aim lower, we put ourselves at risk of failing, and we fall back in the trap of our societal beliefs that teach us we should be conventional and stay in line.
Of course, among all human beings on planet Earth, not everyone will want to become their best self. Not everyone get to the point of awareness that something better is possible for them. At this point in time, Life evolves so fast. The generation our parents lived in seems well long forgotten, and the new generation is far from where we stand ourselves. Not working for accomplishing our greatest self is ok, though. If this is what we want, so be it. No one can judge us for that.
For those of us who wish to upgrade and reach their highest potential, it’s a hard, tenuous road. We gotta be sure that this is what we want. With social media these days, the focus is on looking perfect, having loads of cash, and showing we live in a fairy tale with the perfect partner. This is another side of the self-improvement trap, and buying these lies is the same as what societal beliefs want us to entertain. Some of us pretend we do not want to be part of society and so we follow other beliefs, thinking we’ve freed ourselves up from the rope that was around our neck from the beginning. This is just another aspect of denying our Truth, though.
What we need is to know ourselves. Like really getting to know ourselves. Instead of wanting to look hot, filling our pockets with loads of cash, or spending time finding the right partner to look good, all for the sake of it and to show the world we are worth it because we fit the model that has been served to us, we should get to know ourselves deeply, fully, and understand who we are, how we work, what we want from Life. Without this deep knowledge, that is hiding deep within ourselves, it is impossible for us to embrace a greater existence. On the basis that we gotta get everything sorted quickly and harvest the rewards straight away, we must step back, use our awareness, and take a deep dive within our soul. The outside does not matter.
This brings me to the point of the title of this article: where is our loyalty? Does our loyalty reside in being a good soldier, scrolling incessantly to catch up with the latest trend of who we are supposed to be, being a follower of someone else’s beliefs? Or are we faithful to ourselves, getting to know ourselves, falling in love with ourselves, and spreading it out by embodying it in the outside world without giving a s*** about people’s opinions? In order to achieve that, we must look deep.
When I mentioned that most people stop after experiencing a bit of discomfort and a bit more comfort, I meant that this step is just step 1. Step 2 consists in embodying the parts that we subconsciously know are hidden within ourselves, that we are afraid to address. It means acknowledging all the beliefs we have about anything that trigger us. Our ego gets inflated when it comes to being our best self. After step 1, we feel more confident, and also better than most people. This is a smokescreen to our soul. Deriving confidence upon something we’ve achieved that others did not, is a lie. If we need to compare ourselves with others, we do not hold our frame, and we don’t do it for the right reasons. The hidden, dark, sticky parts within ourselves are there, waiting for us to be dug up. It consists in acknowledging their existence first. Once we do that, we do not have to do anything, but to have the intention to clear them. Situations will come up in our lives that reflect those dark, murky characteristics. It’s up to us to make the choice, with our greater self in mind.
The deeper we go on this journey of being our greatest self, the clearer we realize that it’s never-ending. The deeper we entertain a healthy life, the deeper we notice that bruises, scars and untold stories are just another common aspect of our Being. Being ok with these parts in ourselves, is the key to our freedom. We might feel a duality within ourselves; it’s part of this natural process. With every conscious decision we make, we shed another coat of debilitating qualities we do not consider are worth being part of the greater human experience we deserve.
If we feel uncomfortable, tight, on edge during this journey, it means it’s working out for us. Having the conviction that the path we’re on will lead us to a fulfilling existence, if we remain loyal to ourselves. Not to a belief outside of us, not to a social media trend. We give ourselves the permission to be entitled to our own loyalty, to continue on this path, and to embrace Life the way we choose to, instead of letting the outside world dictate our role for us.
With love and gratitude,
Caroline
© Caroline Caanl 2025. All rights reserved.