Protect your peace
Hi there! This article is inspired by a situation that has happened to me recently. Enjoy!
Some of you know that I currently reside in France. I moved in this forested part of France around a year ago, since I was looking for peace, nature, without the disrupting street noises. I actually traveled to this area for a meditation retreat, fell in love, and decided to stick around. One of the best decisions of my Life. Anyway, I spent lots of time in nature, with sometimes no cell reception, being with myself. Life was good. A bit later on, I moved in the neighbourhing hamlet, just on the outskirts of the 200 inhabitants village.
Like in any rural area, I guess (I have not tried out all of them), people are very welcoming, inviting you for coffee, a “sirop”, and always a biscuit or homemade tart to accompany the discussion. Oh boy, it felt so good! I felt finally at peace, seeing all these pine trees as far as the eyes can see, no street lights to stain the dark skies, and pure silence. Except for a tractor or two, carrying haystacks at dusk.
I have never encountered such friendliness without any agenda, welcoming me as a part of their family, stuffing my arms with fresh fruit and veggies everytime I was around. Those people were grounded AF, calm, always smiling. BUT. I knew this would not last.
You see, I moved there because I was looking for inner clarity, and I guess the street noises and agitation around me were too much. I had previously lived in big cities, and at that specific time in my Life, I could no longer deal with that.
Once I got this job (caring for people recovering from addictions, elderly, or people who suffer(ed) a disease), the neighbours kept coming to me. After a long day of work, caring for others, I could hear a knock on my door as soon as I got home, once, twice, or sometimes three times at night. I have to be honest with you guys, as much as I love them, it pissed me off.
I felt bad not to open my door and tell them that I wasn’t free for a chat at 8.30PM after a long day of work. I felt bad for dodging invitations, or for not seeing them for a few days. But I realized that it was because I had a greater goal in mind: my peace. And that, is not negociable. That is not something I can trample on, or reschedule to a later day. This is part of my identity, and it might always be. Instead of people-pleasing, I had to assert my Truth, which was that, as much as I appreciate you, I did not want to spend time with you after work to talk about the weather and the crops.
It goes the same with men around my age in this village. As I was considered a city girl (I was born in Paris in another lifetime), I attracted attention a little bit, in particular those guys who did not have a lot of options. As flattering as their invitation to have a good roll in the hay together was, I did not resonate with them. I had to draw a few boundaries with some of them so that they CLEARLY understand my perspective. No, I do not want to go drinking or “hanging out”, or go to this spit-roast pork party. None of these fit my values. Neither did these men. And if they did not, well, this is not my problem. It was kind of a hard thing to do at first, because being a village, everyone knows everyone’s moves and behaviours. Really. My mind was making excuses to assert myself, such as “if I say no, then I’m gonna be perceived as an antisocial asshole.” But saying no to my needs was too painful. It became easier as time went by as muscle memory kicked in.
Why? Because I had to take care of myself, after a day of caring for others, do stuff for myself, continue on building my Life, and I couldn’t be bothered with people wanting to chit chat or invite me for a cordial. The conversations where always around the farm, the harvests, the weather. Which was fine for me at first. There was this simplicity that I craved for, when I moved there, that I thought would be needed for me in order to have clarity and stay grounded. But I also need intellectual stimulation, conversations of similar interests, and peace on my own.
As much as I appreciated the surroundings, the luscious nature and being grounded with the animals, the other criteria that were missing were the lack of community with like-minded individuals, the convenience of shopping groceries for myself that are not easily found in a traditional part of France (very meaty, I would say), and also the fact that I would not picture myself live my entire Life there. There was a gap between who I was and who I wish to become, and those lovely people. I got laughed at when I came back from a meditation week, or judged because I refused meat at lunch.
Which brings me to a harsh reality: that my relationships were not based on the common values we shared, but on the untold rule of “ because you’re my neighbour, we automatically qualified to hang out. ” Those people helped me shed some of my prejudice about the rural Life and also confirm some if it. Which is fine, you know? I’m not spitting on them or the Life they’re living. On the opposite, I feel that, with a very simple way of living their Life, they do a pretty awesome job and they are happy. They work their ass off to feed themselves, their kids, and pass on their wealth through land. Great for them. But long-term, this is not something that I resonate with.
I realized the limitations of where I was. Staying there for a while would have prevented me from becoming my higher self. I guess what I wish to say is, there is “pollution” everywhere you go. You see, when I went on a trip to Kathmandu, I found myself in the middle of total chaos in Thamel, but despite that, I was feeling at peace inside. I had this thought that I shared with my lovely friend Bridget I met there, that we’ve travelled across the world to look for peace in another country, that was seemingly less peaceful on the paper than the one we had just left. And there is also peace everywhere we go. It’s all inside of ourselves. What gets seen by us on the outside in what is being reflected on the inside. And I guess it’s our soul showing us our best interests; what works best for us, at this moment. I found peace in this village, but I also found limitations after a while. And this is our intuition talking to us, that we must listen to. It’s waving a flag in our third eye meaning that we need to take action and move on and up to the next level.
It took me months to realize that, and that’s okay. Because I was afraid to move again, to “start” over. We never start over. We just take with ourselves our habits, behaviours and healthy supplements in our luggage, and we fuck off wherever we wish to. And we figure it out. As simple as that.
Life is not linear, time is not linear, neither our soul growth and our path. We feel the energy of a place wherever we go. Some people are more attuned to it than others. I do feel that all the time. And it’s perfectly fine, normal, to '“sniff” a place one day, and resonate with it, and another day to wake up and decide to move on. For our own soul evolution, for our Life, for our peace. It’s of the utmost important for us to be tuned in with what we wish and how our environment contributes or not to it. It might be that it contributes to it for an entire Lifetime, or for 1 year, 10 years, who knows. As long as we stick to being at peace with ourselves, it will never go wrong. We’ll follow this red threat our entire Life. Circumstances, people, do not matter in this decision. The threat has been there from the beginning and will be there when we catch our last breath. Protecting, nourishing, and expanding our peace is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves.
With love and gratitude,
Caroline
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