Validation, our ticket to freedom

Howdy! Caroline here again. Because I was unable to post yesterday, I am posting two articles today.

Today’s (second) article is about validation. It is kind of similar to the previous one, but I feel this is a subject that we place the focus on outwards a lot, without really understanding and processing it internally. Here’s my take on it then.

When we talk about validation, we are usually referring to as being in our own power. Such as “we don’t need to get validated from others, we are just doing our thing, and screw everyone who is going to make us feel like we shouldn’t.” The emphasis is muchly on others, while the focus should remain on ourselves. It is always defined as a reactive behavior from us regarding others, instead of the expansion we should experience, that stems from our primary intention at the beginning.

Validation comes from our inner Being. It comes from the root, the core of us. It comes from this indestructible energy that we call soul, consciousness, or whatever we may name it depending on our beliefs or religion or philosophy.

We cannot harm our validation, we cannot transform it. It’s been with us all along, and is not supposed to change.

Except when we are not grounded in our Truth enough, we place it on the outside, through our attention. We expect others to carry it for us, to speak to us about it, and to give it to us as a trophy, a reward for abiding by their rules and their understanding of reality with us as a character in their movie, and not our own.

Take social media, for example. I think it’s a great tool to enhance communication between people from different parts of the world, but this tool can be dysregulated and transformed into a pitiful, begging instrument for attention. Showing off amazing lives, living in Dubai and carrying a 12K leather bag while on a cruise with the girlies, is awesome. Good for them.

But why is there a need to show off our lives in such as way? Because we are competing with others on a subsconcious level. Let me take some awesome pics, put them on social media, and show the entire world that I live a comfortable material Life, drinking champagne on a boat with my friends, while you are behind your screen being triggered by my stories. This is a desperate attempt for validation. The person posting stuff is wanting to receive something from others, while the person watching the stories and the post is also looking for a way to validate themselves, or in this case, to unvalidate themselves, and not being “good” enough because the norm has been set to such a degree that, if I don’t meet those social media standards of living a similar Life, I’m a loser.

Let’s pause here for a second. Everything in this world is energy. Have we ever wondered what kind of interaction we place ourselves in, with one another? Have we ever wondered what vibration we emit when we talk to somebody? The real nature of our interaction is not what we talk about, or what we do during this interaction, or how we dress.

The true core of our interaction with the other person is what we emit as a way of Being. If we emit a scarcity vibration, the other person feels our envy or jealousy, or any other scarce trait. If we emit our natural state of being, we emit peace, presence, and that, is when true interconnectedness with others start for real. That’s the true nature of our interactions with one another. That’s what it is supposed to be. It doesn’t take any effort from us.

Let’s take another life situation. Let’s imagine we are a fairly good looking and single human, who has always had success in romantic interactions. Now that we are single, and that we are working on our stuff, we feel pretty happy with ourselves. Let’s observe the nature of our interactions with the sex we prefer. We walk on the street, and we decide to go to this new expo in town. The expo is about travel, one of our favorite topics. We get there, mind our own business, without paying too much attention to other humans around us. Now let’s say that there is a documentary being screened, and presented for the occasion by the producer. We always love a good documentary so we wait in line to watch it. We notice that the producer seems cute, smart, and knows their subject.

We enter the room and now we start having those thoughts in our head. Not thoughts that we received from The Universe, but actual, real thoughts that we assimilate to our limited human self and our conditioning.

“Oh, they are charming, seem to have their shit together, and look good.”

“Oh, I know I’m good-looking, I definitely have a shot with them.”

“Oh, what if this person could change my Life?”

And so, we start spiralling onto those schemes of thoughts. We know we’ve been working on our stuff, talking to a health professional, and performed many other tricks to heal our stuff. But now, this is another hidden form of craving validation from others. Because by thinking those thoughts, and entertaining a possibility of something with this person, we are subconsciously wanting something from them, and this is validation we are expecting.

As long as we’ll feel this way, pretending we are not looking, going on with our Life, and still hoping or creating an energy around a situation we’re in, we are expecting. And this is not unconditional living, this is not helping us reach higher timelines.

Validation prevents us from full being in our power. Validation is in the low levels of the energy scale, meaning that it is not expanding us, it is actually shrinking us from the outside.

We believe we are constantly facing situations where we must “fight” or prove ourselves. But as everything comes from within us according to our beliefs followed by our actions about ourselves, we will never find peace and thrive if we place our energy on this one thing on the outside that we think would be the solace to our freedom.

I want to be clear on the fact that of course, we can picture ourselves with a dream partner, or have a beautiful home, family, or fulfilling our projects successfully. What I’m talking about here is the core of the project. The energy that we place onto it at the first place. The first thought about our desire came in, probably neutral, and the energy that we entertain every time we consciously work or focus on it should be carefully watched out for. Is it coming from a desire to be validated, or from a place of genuine peace? There is a fine line between having projects, goals, desires; and creating the story by rearranging the walls to calm our validation cravings that we think will make us whole and complete.

Placing our worth on a situation, a person, a project, does not help expand as a human being. If we wish to thrive and experience Life in the most miraculous way possible, one of the core values that we should embody is to be ready to step away from any thought, situation or person.

We cannot “get” or “possess” anything, because everything we need has already been written in our soul. As we can’t get them, they also cannot harm us when we lose them.

We are here as humans to experience the Life we want, and if we want to place our worth, our validation on something or someone on the outside, so be it. We are playing this role. If we are tired of this role, we can rewrite the stories here and now, by simply letting go of our need of validation by this thing, person, or situation. Validation is the ego at work, because it does not feel safe. Like I said my previous article about reactivity and expansion, when we do not abide by the regular standards of getting our needs met by the outside world, what is left with us? Peace, presence, and unconditional love for ourselves and others.

We can’t break free from an outside shell. We can only break free from the inner shell, the box we’ve trapped our human in, locked ourselves in, without food and water. We have a torch, though, and that is our soul. It lights up everything that we need; it shows us the way out, such as the keys in our pocket, or the fact that our dear ego did not lock the box at the first place. It’s only up to us to see the signs before the battery runs out.

With love and gratitude,

Caroline

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